Monday, September 15, 2014

For my photography friends

These are phrases that we photographers come out with from time to time and their true meanings.

“I’m a natural light photographer.”

Translation: “I never actually learned how to work with flash and artificial light.” (Alternate Translation: “I don’t own any lighting gear.”)

“This camera has great dynamic range.”

Translation: “I can fix my poorly exposed photos much easier in Photoshop.”

“I only shoot with prime lenses.”

Translation: “I read an article that said they’re better.”

“I only shoot wide angle.”

Translation: “I can’t be troubled with details.”

“I only shoot wide open apertures.”

Translation: “I have money to spend on fast lenses.”

“There isn’t anything I can’t do at f/4.”

Translation: “I don’t have money to spend on fast lenses.”

“I specialize in portraits, weddings, sports, fashion, landscapes, food, pets, babies, and…”

Translation: “I’m still figuring out what I’m good at.” (Alternate translation: “I’ll shoot anything.”)

“I’m a fine art photographer.”

Translation: “I have no paying clients right now, so I sell prints in the park.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll get it in camera.”

Translation: “I have no vision whatsoever for this shoot, so please stand over there and we’ll figure it out as we go.” (Not to be confused with “We’ll get it RIGHT in camera.” Totally different.)

“I only do minimal post processing.”

Translation: “Photoshop and Lightroom still confuse the hell out of me.”

“I love the way you processed that image.”

Translation: “Tell me how you did it.”

“I capture moments in time.”

Translation: “I see stuff. I shoot it.”

“I really prefer the look of black & white.”

Translation: “B&W is much more forgiving of my exposure mistakes.”

“I prefer street portraits. They’re much more real.”

Translation: “I can’t shoot a studio portrait to save my life.”

“Film is dead.”

Translation: “I never quite got the hang of it.”

“Just stand/sit however you feel comfortable.”

Translation: “I know absolutely nothing about posing.”

“I don’t take photos. I tell stories.”

Translation: “See how sensitive I am?”

“I’m upgrading to full frame.”

Translation: “That will fix everything that’s wrong with my photography.”

“I have to change memory cards.”

Translation: “I just shot 600 frames of a ______, and I’m not sure I got it right.”

“I’m thinking of switching from Canon/Nikon to Nikon/Canon.”

Translation: “The only explanation for my creative rut has got to be the gear.”

“We’re losing the light.”

Translation: “I’m out of ideas.”

“What settings are you using?”

Translation: “HELP!”

“I’ll fix that later in post.”

Translation: “I’d rather spend an hour in Photoshop fixing the background than taking 30 seconds right now to find a better angle.”

“I NEED that new ______.”

Translation: “I want that new ______.” (But the world won’t stop spinning on its axis if I don’t get it.)

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