Selfridges is offering iPod classes at £65 for 40 minutes.
The one to one tutorial, aimed at revealing and demonstrating all the features of Apple's massively successful digital music player to the impossibly rich, lazy or stupid, is also available at home for an extra fee.
Available initially in Selfridges' flagship Oxford Street store, students of its 'iPod Survival' class will be able to hear the mocking laughter of more enlightened iPod users propping up the Genius Bar in the Apple Store just around the corner in Regent Street, where such advice is offered free.
The Apple Store runs a lunchtime 'iPod and iTunes workshop' most weekdays.
Selfridges also runs a SpeedPod service, for iPod customers that just haven't figured out iTunes either. The service offers a while-you-wait transfer of music from CD to the iPod.