Rules of the road

There is a Spanish equivalent of the Highway Code which nobody seems to follow. These are the rules that actually apply.

1. You can use your mobile phone when driving if you want to make an important call to a friend, a relative or for business.
   
2. You drive on the right, the left or the middle of the road depending which suits you best.
3. You must overtake any car or lorry that is in front of you regardless of what speed that vehicle is doing.
4. Speed limits are advisory and do not apply to drivers of Mercedes Benz, BMW or Audi cars.
5. Turn signals are confusing and should therefore not be used.
6. The most suitable clothing for a moped is shorts, a T-shirt and flip flops.
7. Helmets are only necessary on main roads.
8. The baffles in a moped's silencer only reduce the flow of gases and should therefore be removed.
9. As long as the moped will still move, it is permissible to carry passengers and anything else behind or in front of the rider.
   
10. In towns, one way systems are meant for visitors and do not apply to local people.
11. Double or even treble parking is OK as long as you have your hazard warning lights flashing.
12. Parking on corners in towns is fine as long as the local police recognise your car.
    
13. Bumping the car in front and the one behind is the acceptable way to get out of a tight parking situation.
14. In supermarket car parks it is normal to park at an angle across two bays.
15. Protecting the environment is for other people. The largest 4x4 or a big Merc. is what you really need in Spain.
16. Walking on the road is a lot safer than using the pavement especially if you are pushing a pram. Any car that wants to pass will swerve round you.
17. If it isn't bright and sunny you should put your headlights on. It is better to dazzle than risk not being seen.
18. If you need to stop to "speak" to one of the ladies on the side of the road the drivers of the cars behind you will understand.