Maybe this is what I need

Selfridges in England are launching the first range of control pants for men. Made by Equmen, they are set to give to men what control pants have done for women. As you can see, not only do Equmen make pants, they also make vests that do the same thing for the torso.

Equmen say they use arevolutionary 'Helix-Mapping compression technology', to improve lightweight posture and provide support 'down under', in addition to lifting and smoothing "in all the right places”. It must be right; just look at the effects in the pictures above.

Apparently, the magic material that achieves all this contains 73% Polyester 13% Nylon and 14% Spandex.

I reckon I’d need a lot more Spandex to get my body to look anything like that – more like 70%. Actually, an inner tube from a truck tyre might just do the trick.

Pete says, " Nice choice of model - he needs control pants like I need to gain weight!" You are right Pete, he does seem to have a head start over some of us. I reckon We'd need to see a photo of him without the pants to compare.

However, since this is a family blog so we won't go there!