Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The full story

I got to England on Tuesday 15th August and stayed at Laura's for the night. Pam collected me the next day and took me to the Wirral. We visited Marjorie in hospital that afternoon. She was quite lucid and clearly recognised me, even signalled a comment about my tan. She was on a saline drip but had refused feeding by a tube through the nose.

There were several touching moments during the week that followed when she would point to her heart and then point to Pamela or me to tell us that she loved us. She also told us that she wanted us to look after Arthur as she looked upwards to signal where she knew she was going. We told her that we loved her in return and that everything would be alright.

Her grandaughters came to see her and you could see that made her very happy. The Minster from the Church also visited her and brought a smile to her face. Even at this stage she was bringing joy to other people's lives.

As the week progressed though she was becoming weaker and was having difficulty breathing. There was also a problem with the saline drip. She therefore refused to have any further attempts to have fluids. She knew the consequence of her decision and was clearly prepared to accept it.

We met with the doctor the following Tuesday who basically told us that she was dying but obviously not in those terms. On the Thursday morning she passed away peacefully at 10:35 am. We fuly believe that was what she wanted. The second stroke had further paralysed her left side and left her without speech or the ability to swallow. If she had survived her life would have been intolerable and she knew it. The church service and subsequent cremation took place on Friday 1st September in glorious sunshine. The service was well attended and the mourners made generous donations to the Stroke Unit at the hospital. Strange as it may seem it was a happy day because we were celebrating someone who had brought a lot of pleasure into people's lives.

Arthur has had difficulty coming to terms with his loss but is gradually accepting it. As I have said previously he has a problem with his short term memory to such an extent that the other day he asked when Marjorie had died.

Pam is staying until Sunday and then goes back to Laura's for a few days before flying back home to Spain next Wednesday.

Throughout the whole harrowing perdiod of her mother's illness and her subsequent passing, Pam has been an inspiration. She organised the funeral, notified the relatives, registered the death etc. She even bought the neighbours gifts to thank them for their support. All of which she did in a calm and considerate way. I am very proud of the way she has handled a very difficult time in her life.

Living with her father has been to say the least difficult for Pam but more of that in my next post. In the meantime I am very happy to be back home here in Spain. I missed the place an awful lot when I was in England.

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