Thursday, December 16, 2010

A letter to Santa

I remember sending letters to Santa and I remember my girls doing the same (Our youngest daughter Laura went to the trouble of quoting the catalogue numbers from Argos in her letters) but they were no where near as funny as these ones printed today in the Daily Mail.

I want sausages for dinner every day, all year round.

From Elsie

I want ducks with no teeth.

Love Ellen

PS: I'll take geese if it's a hard task - but remember, no teeth!

I want to buy a spider in a pet shop, so tell me that you'll come there and pay for it. The shop closes early on Christmas Eve. Is that all right?

Regards, Nathan

I wish not to have holes in my teeth for the rest of my life so I can eat as many sweets as I want all Christmas.

Christmas hugs from Violet

I wish to remain 12 years old for the rest of my life if possible.

From Dan

I only wish for one thing and that's for IKEA to open and give me a job when I'm grown up.

From Claudia

I want a dog. But I don't know which. I hope it's obedient, but not too big. Could you please tell me what the perfect dog is?

Love Maria

Could you make me a lot ­prettier than my friend Sabrina? That's my biggest and only wish!

Love Diana

Do you have baby pigs in store? If I can have a baby pig from you, that's what I wish for -- but you have to sort it out with Mum.

Love Cicilia


Do you think Mrs Santa can come instead of you? I'm so scared of you. Sorry.

From Jonas

Mum says you won't come if I swear. Are you allergic to swearing?

Regards, Victor

When you're finished, could I perhaps become the new Santa?

Your friend, Callum

Could you call me when you're close by so I can come and say hello to your reindeer? What's your phone number?

Love Rhiannon

Could you tell me what you did in the last World War? You didn't fly around the world! Were there any presents then?

From Andy

Santa Claus, how often do you change your clothes?

Regards, Tom

How often do you take a bath?

From Elisabeth

Did you come from the basement last year? Could you say a password when you come this time? You can say 'chocolate cake' - then I will know you're the real Santa, because I don't want Dad to be Santa.

Regards, Jane

Do you say 'Ho! Ho! Ho! because you don't speak other languages?

Greetings from Pauline

When you give us money, do you print it yourself? Isn't it fake money which is against the law?

Regards, Sonny

My dad and grandad are bald. If that's inheritable, will I become bald? Are you bald?

From Jens


I know I haven't been nice this year, but I promise to be next year. So would it be all right to give me something in advance?

Regards, Joseph

If Mum and Dad have sent you a letter saying that I haven't been nice this year, it's true. But remember that I really pulled myself together two weeks ago.

Best regards, Richard

I've been good all year and I'm planning to be good next year as well. So could you throw a yo-yo in an envelope and send it to me?


Do you keep a file of all the children in the world? If so, do you store it on a computer? What program do you use?

From Luke

I'm writing to you on behalf of my little sister who's afraid to do it because she hasn't been that nice this year. But she hopes that you'll give her one or more presents anyway, because she promises to be nicer next year.

From Megan

How would you define good and not good? Is it allowed to tease once in a while? I do have four brothers and sisters.

Best regards, Amy


Will you bring me the presents I wish for this year? Last year you disappointed me. If you ­disappoint me this year as well, I'll lock the door so you can't let any more Christmases in.

From Martina

Why did you give Richard a PlayStation 2 and not me? Do you think that's fair?


Thank you very much for the presents last year. This year I would like to have twice as many.

Love Naomi

Why didn't I get a hairdryer from you for Christmas? I wanted one last year, but I didn't receive one. Now both my sisters have hair­dryers. How long will I have to ­borrow theirs? Could you tell me?

Love Eva

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